Glue Penny Burger

I shouldn't have eaten it but I did and everything is fine.

Note: Fish Head insists that I not use the real name of the restaurant. I think that's silly, since it's ALL OVER the video. This round goes to Fish.

You should know that I absolutely adore Blank & Blank. It's my favorite restaurant and this meal, the Blankburger with Cheese Platter, is my favorite meal ever. If I was on death row, my last meal would be a Blankburger with Cheese Platter and some crab rangoon.

I say all this so that you can understand my state of mind. All day, I looked forward to this meal. So even though the food was CLEARLY tainted, there was NO WAY that I was not eating it. If I was going to die, or suffer any unfortunate repercussions, so be it.

The burger looked weird right from the start. It looked like someone had stepped on it, or smashed it down into the plate. It was way too flat. When I flipped it over, I learned why: the bottom bun was... wrong. I don't know how else to describe it. It was paper-thin, soggy wet, and smelled really bad. Like some sort of industrial solvent. Along the way, it got named "The Glue Penny Burger."

Though I did not know it at the time, Fish Head was video taping the process. He insists that it was more to document whatever symptoms may have appeared. And I'll admit, the video below does show me a little more twitchy and pale than usual.

Fish says it was fascinating, the way I appear to be "scrubbing" the inside of my mouth throughout the conversation. You know how, after you get a filling at the dentist, you still feel and taste traces of the metallic stuff? Same deal here.

BONUS: Right at the 1:30 mark, Asian Elvis!

So now I understand the strategy behind fishing. Yes, there is a delicious treat. Yes, there is clearly something dangerous about the treat that is, most likely, a trap. Yes, I am going to eat it anyway.

--Penny